Do You Name Your Car?

Will you help Automologist MAC name his new car?  

I do. I drive them around for a while, get a feel for them and then give them a name that seems to fit. I know lots of people that do. My Dad certainly did, although it seemed all his cars were named ‘Gert’, which we all thought meant Gertrude, but in fact meant something quite different in cockney slang. So, why am I so concerned about car names at the moment? Well, not so long ago, I went and got me a Porsche Macan and I just can’t decide on what to call it.

Probably the best all round car I have ever driven.


Now, before you all start to write comments about calling it unkind names, like the Mockney, a pretend Porsche that carries a cockney around, let me tell you that the Macan is indeed a Porsche true to the ethos of the grand old company. You see, Porsche aspires to build the best car in the class, always, and the Macan truly does deliver. Comfort levels are great, acceleration amazing, road-holding out of this world. Indeed, I would fully recommend anyone thinking of buying an F-Pace or Q5 to go down to their nearest Porsche dealership and take a test drive ASAP. After that, the only decision you will need to make is the colour of the Macan that you will buy – you can trust me on that one.

Me, what colour did I buy? Well, I got a white one with some black accents. I have taken a bit of stick for this decision as well; apparently white isn’t a colour that a manly man like myself should be seen driving. Well, I say “yah boo sucks” to all of you doubters out there. A white-coloured Macan just seems to ‘pop’ and declare that in fact a young man is driving this here steed. But I am a man with a plan, and never forget that in this day of wraps, there are loads you can do to it on a temporary basis and white is an easy colour to wrap over. But, back to the point and what to name probably the best car I have ever driven. Herein lies a problem with the colour that I have chosen – to me certain colours evoke certain responses, but white doesn’t.

Years ago, my wife had a bright red hatchback, which immediately became known as the ‘Scarlett Harlot’. My brother once had an MG Midget in green that became known as the Green Meany to him, and another friend who had a green VW bug that we all called Kermit. Of course, yellow cars become known as Tweety or Banana Splitz or Mellow Yellow. The colour orange on a car could make it a Julius or Tango or even Cheeto. Even pink cars have almost automatic names such as Miss Piggy or the Pink Panther. Silver car names abound as well, with names such as Mercury or Silver Arrow. Heck, even purple evokes Purple Haze and Ultraviolet, and also Pansy.

But what about poor old white? How about calling it Blizzard or Marshmallow or Ice Baby or Great White Shark. Nope, nope and nope, none of them inspire me. I could have gone all ethnic and named it Nasi Lemak or Rendang – after all, ‘Makan’ in the Malay language does mean food or eat. Trouble is, at the moment I am sort of erring on the side of Pillsbury, as in the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Now, I know that this will evoke jokes about my rather large girth, or my fondness for doughnuts, or you might take it to imply that the Macan doesn’t handle well, which it does. In fact, none of these could be further from the truth – I just like the name Pillsbury and I have found a cool decal to put on the car…so there.

Don’t mess with this Doughboy……


Got loads of it!


images: Porsche; via Pinterest
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