Elon Smashes His Own Cybertruck-Blade-Runner-Thingy, But Buyers Don’t Care

How would Automologist MAC describe the Tesla Cybertruck in one word?

A few weeks ago, Elon Musk tweeted about the need to love the products you are designing and then he unveiled his SUV—or is it pick-up truck—and I am left with one word: UGLY. I do not know what it is he has been smoking recently, but everything about the truck reminds me of the phrase “a face only a mother could love” because, like I said, it is uuuuggggglllllyyyyy! The vehicle surely is not much more than a prototype at the present; it doesn’t even look like it could be remotely street-legal in current guise.

The very industrial looking Cybertruck is covered in a stainless steel alloy, a bit like a DeLorean from Back to the Future, and has what some kinder writers are calling a distinct angular design, although I am sure that my four-year-old kid could do better. The windows are supposed to be made from some sort of toughened glass capable of withstanding bullets and sledgehammers. This is, of course, exactly what an urban driver in Americaland needs these days, not. However, at the launch event, the windows proved to be quite ordinary.

To showcase the toughness of the window glass, Tesla’s Design Head, Franz von Holzhausen, threw a metal ball at the front side window. Only, the window broke. Undeterred, he repeated the action for the rear side window and, lo’ and behold, that one broke as well. Musk was then heard to mutter a choice swear word before joking that “there was room for improvement”.

In post-launch trading, more than 6% was wiped off the value of Tesla’s shares following the gaff. But the Company may get the last laugh. Tesla has already accepted over 200,000 orders with a USD100 deposit a pop—yup, that is USD20 million and all for a vehicle that may not look anything like the launch model when it is finally available in 2022.

Apparently, there will be three versions. The first will be a single-motor version with a range of 250 miles for a paltry USD39,000. The next will be a dual-motor version with a battery range of 300 miles and a price tag of USD49,000, and the top of the line version will be a tri-motor version with a battery range of 500 miles and a price tag of USD69,000.

The unveiling last week seemed to polarize opinions into those who loved the futuristic shape and those who thought it looked like some sort of Mad Max/Back to the Future mash-up. However, what we were shown is really not that much more than a concept car. The vehicle had no wing mirrors, although it apparently will have rearview cameras if that technology is approved by the time of launch. It also lacked windscreen wipers and bumpers and only had the one light-bar at the back. Other small details that the designers seemed to have overlooked were turn signals, a third brake light and, of course, the need to incorporate pedestrian safety features into the very angular design.

So, all in all, what I had hoped for and what was delivered was very far apart for this writer and thus I will end with the word: Disappointed.