If you think that driving in Malaysia is stressful enough, try parking. There is just never enough parking spaces, and sometimes the time it takes to find one is longer than the car journey (makes no sense right?!). We’ve all developed our own style/method/strategy to find the elusive empty spot. Here are a few types of car “parkers”. Which one are you?
1) The Round and Round We Go-er
Majority of Malaysians are of this type. We just go around in circles in the parking lot until we spot someone getting into his/her car to leave, and then we turn on our turn signal as a warning sign to others who would dare to challenge our right to the spot. If there is any fool who does, we are ready to fight to the death for what we have been worked so hard to find (driving around in circles is hard work, kan?).
The second most common type is the “waiter”. No, not the person who brings you your nasi lemakand teh tarik, but the person who will wait. This fella will choose a parking aisle that feels most promising, and wait and listen to the radio/play with the phone/take a nap until a car in that aisle leaves. This one might spend more time waiting in the car than actually shopping, eating or whatever reason he/she needed to park there in the first place.
3) The Stalker
This is our favourite because it shows that Malaysians are really creepy. The Stalker will wait near the parking lot entrance and then look out for people who are leaving (telltale signs are they have a bunch of shopping bags, a family with crying kids or they are holding their car keys and parking ticket in their hand). After spotting the prey, the Stalker will follow very very closely at an uncomfortably close distance, until the person who is being followed panics and runs to the car and quickly cabut,because they thought that someone wants to kidnap them. The Stalker then takes the vacated spot and pats him/herself on the back for a job well done.
4) The Impatient Curser
This one cannot understand what the person who just got into the car is fussing about with. Just start your car and get lost. I have things to do, places to be. I want your parking spot and I want it now, (insert stream of expletives here).
5) The Optimist
This one is rare, and if you ever meet one, catch it and put it in a bottle. The Optimist passes the boom gate into the parking lot, believing that he/she will find a spot easily, even during peak hours. And the annoying thing is, he/she does. Could it be true that if you think it, it shall be so?